Let’s be real. Most blogs and socials you will peruse on the internet will be putting their best foot forward. Hours upon hours will be spent on staging the perfect photo, editing, and creating the magic! This isn’t that.
When I imagined my post-grad life, I’ll be honest — there was definitely a Pinterest-perfect home office somewhere in the vision. Maybe a cute desk nook, with lush house plants spilling over shelves and a perfectly organized work area that felt both cheerful and zen. Reality? I don’t even have a home office… or a house big enough to squeeze one into.
Right now, I live with my in-laws. *biiig sigh* My husband just started barber school, I just graduated, and we have two kids to keep in snacks and stuffed animals… To make it all work, my desk — my entire “office” — is currently parked at my mom’s house five minutes away in another neighborhood. I literally commute to my own desk. It’s not glamorous. Honestly, my reality is embarrassing to admit. But I’m learning that progress doesn’t have to look picture-perfect. And that’s good news for me because… sheeeeesshhh.
As I mentioned before, I’m a recent graduate. To celebrate finishing college, I didn’t splurge on a vacation or a fancy dinner out. It was all about time with family and office essentials, haha. I researched and stressed over which was more important: a great high definition monitor or a fancy “all the bells and whistles” printer. (The monitor won out.) These little upgrades honestly just make me feel like a real designer for the first time.
No aesthetic setup. No natural light streaming through some perfectly situated window. Just me, shuffling between houses, making things work with what I’ve got.
And still? I feel so proud. Because it was an investment I made in myself and my future. I quiet reminder that I am building something… even if the “building” is happening in borrowed spaces.
I won’t lie, it’s taken me a long time to even feel allowed to invest in myself. In the past, I’ve spent years in relationships where I made showing up for other people my full time job. Their goals, their happiness, their convenience always came first… and I got really good at pushing my own ambitions to the back burner. Hell, I had convinced myself that I wasn’t made out for college or the professional creative future I had dreamt of when I was younger.
Now, as a mom, my kids absolutely come first– because that’s how it should be. I want to be present for them, to give them stability, to be their constant. But what I’ve learned is… I’m part of that equation too. They don’t need a version of me who’s constantly worn down, who’s forgotten her own dreams. They need to see me show up for myself, because that teaches them it’s okay to chase big goals, to love things passionately, to build a life that excites you!
I’m also just wired to be Type A — to make sure everything runs smoothly, to hold everything together when life feels messy (which it always does these days). And it’s hard, really hard, to carve out time for my own creative work when life is anything but “smooth.” But every time I choose to show up for my goals — even in the smallest ways — I’m reminding myself (and my kids) that dreams are worth protecting too.
This is the part of the story that I don’t often see people post about. The in-between. The transitional, gritty seasons. I’m freelancing currently between applying for full-time design jobs. Some days it feels so messy and hard. Some days it feels like I’m miles away from where I want to be. But here’s what I’m reminding myself: messy progress is still progress. One day, I’ll have that dreamy little office. For now, I have a printer and a monitor and a whole lot of drive to make things happen. And for now, that’s enough.
If you’ve ever felt left behind because your life hasn’t been this step by step linear trajectory that has you sitting pretty in some perfectly lit studio setup of a life — this is your reminder that none of that actually matters. You can chase creative goals from your mom’s spare room. You can freelance from a kitchen table. You can do big things in small spaces with little.
This season won’t last forever, but I’m choosing to show up for it anyway.
Thanks for being here,
Jai 🙂
jaipowell.com 
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